The third and most difficult set of RELATIONSHIPS are those which are intimate.
INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS, when they are CORRECT and NATURAL, involve the NATURAL INTERACTIONS of LIFE in which two people come together in order to UNITE their lives, sharing common growth, experiences, confidences, SENSUALITY, and SEXUALITY.
It is important to let go all SELFISHNESS, concepts of POSSESSION, and all EXPECTATIONS of PERMANENCY. It does not matter if the relationship is visceral, emotional, or passionate.
It does not matter if the relationship is developed slowly or quickly. All relationships are processes of INTERACTION, remember that. Two people do not and cannot exist.
This INTERACTION arises as a result of the recognition of the POTENTIAL for a NATURAL UNITY which is both PHYSICAL and PSYCHOLOGICAL, which you may have discovered between yourself and the other partner.
It is clear then that the discovery of a NATURAL UNITY between persons suggests that more than two people may come together in an INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP.
Is this a CORRECT and NATURAL situation?
That UNITY may be expressed in different ways, because the nature of the discovered POTENTIAL UNITY may be different, is true, but this concept of a MULTIPLE UNION is at odds with those of most religious and social concepts, which limit intimate relationships and behaviour to protect society and its individual members from their own confusion, greed, and hostility.
A NATURAL and CORRECT person does not need to be protected from him- or herself.
This is not sufficient reason to limit INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS to a single pair if it is not NATURAL and CORRECT.
Certainly, if individuals within various relationships respond to their IDENTITY DEMANDS and impulses, then all sorts of problems and suffering may arise in MULTIPLE INTERACTIONS, but this also occurs in SINGLE RELATIONSHIPS.
If all IDENTITY bondage is cut and the person becomes NATURAL, then CORRECT INTERACTIONS will certainly develop. Theoretically, at least, one apparent person then can freely develop many different IDENTITY-FREE INTERACTIONS, and one INTERACTION will never conflict with or damage another INTERACTION, as long as there is WISDOM present.
What then is NATURAL and CORRECT? A promise to limit one's INTERACTIONS exclusively to one person, whether it is by social pressure or fear, is not a free response.
Clearly, however, if INTERACTIONS are formed for reasons of GREED or DESIRE then there is folly inherent in those INTERACTIONS. If those INTERACTIONS are beautiful, untainted and natural, then to limit those INTERACTIONS because of the fear, jealousy, envy, and sense of possession of others is not CORRECT. But what is NATURAL and CORRECT? It is a complex question.
One person cannot ever be the exclusive property of another, and in fact extended EXPERIENCES can bring fruitful benefit to all INTERACTIONS.
It is FOLLY, however, to design INTERACTIONS which are in CONFLICT, or INTERACTIONS which employ DECEPTIONS of any description.
It is therefore clear that until one is free from the burdens of IDENTITY, one should be exceedingly careful about entering into MULTIPLE RELATIONS, or even SINGLE RELATIONS, because both require a calmness and tranquillity of mind which is impossible if any of the IDENTITIES is present.
This concept is, as we have said, in conflict with Judaeo-Christian ideas, but the concept of MULTIPLE UNIONS which must be considered as a possibility in no way signifies the existence of a free license to exploit SEXUALITY or SENSUALITY in a vulgar egotistical way.
There are then two models of behaviour in INTIMATE RELATIONS possible, a monogamous process of living and a polygamous process. Which is NATURAL and CORRECT?
It is very interesting that a conventional social MARRIAGE, which is designed to unite two people, actually, in most cases, destroys rich INTERACTIONS between other friends of both genders, and in most cases ends in psychological isolation between the partners, which may be disguised in many ways.
This is because of the concept of POSSESSION is inherent within the monogamous system. Traditional MARRIAGE means POSSESSION in most cases, even within polygamous systems, and when the first blush of romance finishes, being POSSESSED becomes a burden, and POSSESSING a liability.
When these occasions arise, the idea is generated in a member of a second intimate relationship that one is sharing the person who is interacting with another.
This is clearly an incorrect concept, for there is no person which can be shared. A person is not a common object with an IDENTITY which can be split into two.
What is shared is the available time, just as one's time is shared with cooking, resting, working, and a thousand and one other daily tasks.
AFFECT cannot also be shared. There is not a finite amount of AFFECT available which will run out if some is dispensed to another. No, there is beneath the surface a very real sense of POSSESSION which is incorrect.
Whether the Monogamous model or the Polygamous model is CORRECT and NATURAL requires an entire text to develop arguments which may reveal the truth, but one thing is clear, however, and that is that acceptance of a Monogamous model, free from IDENTITIES, precludes MULTIPLE INTERACTIONS, but the Polygamous model does not preclude SINGLE INTERACTIONS.
It may be eventually concluded that versatility is important for the natural evolution of INTERACTIONS in different environmental conditions and circumstances and that NATURAL responses automatically prevail when the human system is returned to a NATURAL and CORRECT form.
In any event, a NATURAL INTERACTION, be it legal or by mutual consent, between two persons or more, or between a person and an ideal, is an enriching experience which can promote natural growth and development of understanding and liberation if it is approached without IDENTITY ATTACHMENT.
We are then faced with another important question. What is CORRECT BEHAVIOUR within an INTIMATE RELATIONSHIP? Seven concepts are important: the nature of GROWTH, FREEDOM, and EQUALITY; the BIOLOGICAL EXPERIENCES of LOVE and BEING IN LOVE; and the processes of SENSUALITY and SEXUALITY.