ESSENTIAL WISDOM REGARDING FRIENDLY RELATIONSHIPS
There is another theme which we have not mentioned in previous commentaries which is of paramount importance. It is the necessity of forming NATURAL and CORRECT RELATIONSHIPS.
This advice is sufficiently clear, but the building of CORRECT relationships is not an easy thing to do. The difficulty again lies with the IDENTITIES. There cannot be a close and CORRECT RELATIONSHIP between two persons controlled by their IDENTITIES. A true relationship can only be built by an understanding of the TRUTH about SUFFERING, TRANSIENCY, and NON-SELF, together with an understanding about the NATURE of HUMAN EXISTENCE as a process.
The secret lies in understanding the concept of INTERACTION. Remember that IDENTITIES do not exist. You must realize therefore that in a relationship there cannot be an INTERACTION between two people. The INTERACTION can only exist as a melding of two APPARENT PERSONS. In other words, these apparent individuals meld together, becoming perceptually “as one” for the time of this INTERACTION.
Usually FRIENDS come together for mutual support, sharing activities and experiences. In itself this appears to be a fruitful INTERACTION, but if friendships are analyzed more closely, the support is found to be related to a lack of personal confidence, a mutual search for common delights, or to secure a stronger social force as a unit. Do you really believe that this is real friendship? It is true that even in these friendships one does learn about the world in which we apparently live, and there is great excitement and apparent pleasure in these relationships. Are these, however, true friendships based on a common unity and understanding of mutual human qualities which are shared, promoting true natural growth and understanding without either IDENTITY games or INCORRECT ACTIONS?
Now, we say that in a CORRECT RELATIONSHIP the FRIENDS should meld together as one, but what this really means is that two or more apparently SEPARATE PROCESSES mutually recognize the COMMON FACTORS of their TRUE UNITY. There is a NATURAL UNITY which exists among all things, but in this specific case of FRIENDSHIP, the UNITY is seen reciprocally by the perception of the similarity of the CORRECT path upon which they walk. It is imperative also that you do not cling to FRIENDSHIP, let it be. Remember all things are TRANSIENT and there may be a natural parting of the ways when the perception of UNITY is lost due to divergence from the path of one or the other. Be mutual teachers and receivers. Share the joy and share the burdens. That is important, but do not allow this understanding and support to either debilitate yourself or your friend.