THE FIVE STAGES OF INTIMATE RELATIONS

The development of a CORRECT INTERACTION is a very subtle process which appears to be beyond the grasp of most partners. 

Social role playing and the DEMANDS, guided by the IDENTITIES, have replaced this process, which is quite beautiful. 

If you see the mating dances of birds and other non-human animals, you will find them quite remarkable, varied, and beautiful in comparison to the crude demanding behaviour of the human creature, which resembles a battle in which conquest in one form or another is required, totally camouflaged with a FALSE ASPECT of LOVE, which both partners may accept as TRUE and ENDURING.

At the moment, there are actually five stages which can be recognized in a beautiful HUMAN INTERACTION. 

                                                 THE FIRST STAGE

The first stage is that in which the MALE presents himself to all females. 

In the NATURAL and CORRECT situation, there is no camouflage or game-playing. In a subtle way he announces his AVAILABILITY. 

                              This is never aggressive or demanding. 

                 The progress is completely in the hands of the FEMALE. 

She, with her sensitive discrimination recognises that which is CORRECT for a MATCH. She projects a "LIGHT", which is a signal in the form of subtle energy accompanied by eye contact which is accepting. 

She confirms the approach only when it is correct with gestures, touching, and a tantalizing closeness. 

                                                THE SECOND STAGE

The second stage is signalled when the MALE CORRECTLY perceives the female approach. 

He returns the "LIGHT" and PSYCHOLOGICALLY APPROACHES the female, opening his own FEMALE FACTOR. 

The PHYSICAL APPROACH accompanying the PSYCHOLOGICAL APPROACH will be smooth, gentle, and natural, without deception.

All IDENTITY must be set aside, or the SOCIAL MALE will dominate and destroy the INTERACTION, although he may achieve his Identity goals and expectations. 

At this point the FEMALE shows ACCEPTANCE by her sensual response and OPENS the DOOR showing clearly that she is prepared to GIVE and RECEIVE, if the MALE reaction is sufficiently SENSITIVE.

                                                      THE THIRD STAGE

The third stage opens when the MALE responds to the open door and ENTERS into the process of GIVING and RECEIVING.

This is not a crude giving and taking of possesions but a giving of oneself with openess with defenses discarded.

Responding to the initial GIVING of the FEMALE, he ACCEPTS her gifts and GIVES in return with a masculine interpretation of his own FEMALE FACTOR.

This is SENSITIVE and NATURAL and is completely divorced from his IDENTITY DEMANDS of DOMINANCE and CONTROL, which create a breach of the INTERACTION. 

The MALE allows his FEMALE FACTOR to unfold and does not in any way force a pace or rhythm. He responds ONLY to the RHYTHM which is smooth and NATURAL. 

The female ACCEPTS this GIVING, also expressed in sensitive and sensual behaviour, without haste or egoism and acts as a GUIDE to the opening of Affect in this part of the INTERACTION. 

It is a subtle dance, in which she GIVES by ACCEPTING, having taken the first INITIATIVE.

                                                      THE FOURTH STAGE

The fourth stage begins when the MALE offers a MELDING. 

This is not a crude SEXUAL approach. It is an offer to MELD his FEMININE FACTOR with hers. This offer may be verbal or non-verbal, signalled by BENEVOLENT CARING in the embraces. 

Once again, in the NATURAL PROCESS, there is no DEMAND, no OBJECTIVE or TARGET, there is a NATURAL and SLOW DEVELOPMENT of the MELD. 

The female, for her part then ENTERS the MELDING PROCESS, setting the RHYTHM and the development of the SENSUAL and SENSITIVE MELD.

It is here that the FEMALE offers herself totally to the MELD. She virtually declares, in a subtle way, or verbally, "My body IS your body", accepting with full confidence, the ruling FEMININE FACTOR of the male which can do no harm, nor abuse the gift. 

There are at this moment no physiological or psychological inhibitions, and the MALE may return the gift or not, by fulfilling the volitions of the FEMALE, suppressing his own interpretations. 

               This giving is a declaration of Feminine Vulnerability and Trust.

                                                   THE FIFTH STAGE

In the fifth stage, the MALE submits to the complete GUIDANCE of the female who now directs the expression of his MALE INTERPRETATION of the FEMININE FACTOR. 

At this point there is then a UNITY of the two FACTORS, which develop naturally into a final PSYCHOLOGICAL and PHYSICAL UNION.  

It must be recognized that this INTERACTION is not just a MATING DANCE, but an expression of UNITY. Thus the INTERACTION may be performed without the concept of PROCREATION present. 

Indeed, the process is so beautiful, that even in simple interactions between the couple, the subsequent casting of the "LIGHT" by the female, and the return of the "LIGHT" by the male is sufficient to support and reinforce the MELD without the constant necessity of attaining full PHYSICAL UNION. 

Thus everyday living in the INTERACTION becomes an expression of the MELD which is of sensitive GIVING and RECEIVING. 

It is essential to recognize that INTIMATE INTERACTIONS are FEMININE in nature, NOT MASCULINE. 

The FEMALE is INITIATOR and GUIDE. This can be seen clearly in TANTRIC systems, which respects the FEMALE, seeing her to be the Mother of all EXPRESSION. 

There is another point which must be made clear. 

Under no circumstances should the COMPLETE INTIMATE INTERACTION develop into an "EGO à DEUX", in which the UNITY achieved becomes expressed only as a new single EGO in conflict with the rest of the world. 

While the RELATIONSHIP of the two partners in that particular INTERACTION exists, it is perfectly CORRECT and NATURAL that the LOVING and BENEVOLENT RELATIONSHIP should continue even when they are physically apart, and it is perfectly natural to have the volition to be together as much as possible. 

Working together, playing together, sleeping together, without either possessiveness or domination, is an excellent situation if the situation warrants. 

If the relationship is of more than two, then the same concepts apply. 

The desirability of such relationships, however, rests upon mutual growth, understanding, and learning. The presence of IDENTITY, being a most destructive factor. 

Usually in INTIMATE RELATIONSHIPS of more than two persons the most natural is that of one male and two or more females. Now this may seem like a sort of double standard, but we are not talking about IDENTITIES here or DESIRES, we are talking about a UNION. The female requires only a single INTEGRATION with a MASCULINE FEMALE FACTOR, in order to be complete. 

The MALE, on the other hand, can absorb the many diverse characteristics of the FEMININE FACTORS offered by different WOMEN. 

What tends to happen in a multiple UNION when more than one MALE is involved is a CONFLICT between MALE CHARACTERISTICS. 

The result is a distancing from their own FEMININE FACTORS which causes rifts in the MALE-FEMALE RELATIONSHIPS. 

Perhaps now you can throw out the old idea of MASCULINITY and FEMININITY. Look again at the biblical story of ADAM and EVE. 

We would have to change that, would we not, declaring that EVE was created first and that MAN was created from WOMAN. 

In terms of genealogy this finds some support, for it has long been a standing joke in the scientific world, that a MAN is only a WOMAN without the full compliment of genes. 

Furthermore, since the human creature was supposed to have been created in God's image, then GOD would certainly have to be a WOMAN.

If one is going to cling to this idea, it certainly makes more sense, for CREATION is a FEMININE FACTOR. Even the concept of a VENGEFUL GOD fits this pattern (forgive the jest), for is it not said, "There is no greater vengeance than that of a WOMAN scorned."